Aging is a tough process, and my mother ran up against an unwilling body. She died peacefully in the early hours of March 18, while in for a hospital check, after about a month of difficulty getting around, and over a year of assisted living care.
Born in Cornwall in 1941 to Tony Dextras and Blanche Leroux, she was an only child. But early on, she lived off Montreal Road in Cornwall, near larger families, some of whom had the last name Ruest! She had fond memories of visiting her grandmother Leroux in a tiny house almost under the Cornwall bridge, on Baldwin Ave. Her other grandparents, on the Dextras side, were on Pine Street.
She attended St. Michael’s Academy and worked at Courtaulds before meeting one of those Ruest boys, Eugene, on a ski trip. They settled in a small rented house in Parco Village, east of Cornwall, that I still faintly remember.
Growing up, we had lots of reading time, board games, and adventures. There were trips to the library, to the beach, to Toronto, to Cornwall — always lots of ideas & fun! She never met a craft she didn’t want to try: we always had new outfits, art on the walls, even a run at dandelion wine.
My dad’s work brought them to Trenton, and then, with another job change, to Ottawa. We were delighted to be reunited with our cousins, living together in the village of Russell, and close to Ottawa for more outings.
Once we were more settled into school during the day, my mom started volunteering, with the local hockey association, and then went back to work, ending up with the National Research Council’s conference planning department. Much as she loved planning a party or a surprise, full of creative ideas as she was, she enjoyed pulling together such large endeavors.
My mom loved animals — I still remember her parents’ dog Tiger — and we had several dogs growing up. She was known to love owls, and had a collection of owl statues given to her over the years. Once on her own, she usually had a cat for company, and when that wasn’t possible any longer, she still liked to support charities for animal welfare.
After she retired, she moved into a townhouse in south Ottawa, and once the stairs there got tricky, transitioned, with lots of family help, to a one-floor condominium closer in to services in Ottawa. When that again got to be too much, it was time to find her a spot at a care home, Wildpine, in Stittsville.
My mother and I shared the fun of genealogy research, something I got into more when I moved away from home but wanted to find more of my roots. Feel free to add memories to her family tree entry on WikiTree, where we consolidated our findings, or on her obituary. She didn’t want any services, and didn’t specify any charities to support, but if you’re so inclined to remember her, she was a long-time supporter of the Ottawa Humane Society.
I’ll miss my weekly chats with her, started when I headed off to university, and her unwavering support for my choices in life. I keep thinking of questions she would have been able to answer for me, news she would have liked to hear. As we learn, time and time again, it’s over to my generation now, to carry on.